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S
S.T.A.R.T.
Biblical
Instruction for Raising Children
By
Travis
Hunt
A
Ministry of Camas Valley
Christian
Fellowship
Copyright 2009 by
Travis Hunt
All rights reserved.
This booklet may be reproduced and distributed as the Lord leads with
prior written permission from:
Camas Valley
Christian Fellowship
P.O. Box 41 Camas
Valley, OR 97416
Phone:
541-430-7283
Scripture taken from
the New King James Version.
Printed in the
United States of America.
S.T.A.R.T.
Biblical
Instruction for Raising Children
In
1 Samuel chapter 2 there is a stark contrast: Light, dark, light,
dark. In 1 Samuel 2:11 it says that Samuel is ministering before the
Lord. Then, the very next verse says that the sons of Eli are
corrupt. In fact, that word for corrupt is wicked. They are wicked.
They do not know the Lord. So, you have little 5-year-old Samuel in
his cute little priest outfit, in his little ephod, lighting incense,
loving the Lord and serving God, and then you have these wicked,
corrupt, middle-aged men out there who don’t know the Lord, who are
running the tabernacle. There is this contrast back and forth. It’s
like a tennis match! By the time you get done you wonder what in the
world - how do these two mix? Wickedness – Samuel – wickedness –
Samuel – wickedness – Samuel. As I looked at this I asked the
question, “Why did God mix these two?” Do you want to know the
answer? Because He wants to teach about raising children.
As
we look at the stark contrast between what Eli did with his sons, and
what Hannah and Elkanah did with their son, you cannot miss the
parent/child relationship. Eli sort of corrects his children, but
doesn’t; and they die. It is a heavy, heavy message.
Lets
briefly look at some New Testament Scriptures on what the Bible says
about training children.
Children,
obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor
your father and mother," which is the first commandment with
promise: (Ephesians 6:1-2)
There
were Ten Commandments, and the first one that had a promise attached
was this one! Here is the promise:
…that
it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.
(Ephesians 6:3)
Who
has had their children memorize that Scripture? Why? Because you want
them to obey you, right? Well, we should really have them memorize
the whole thing so they can correct us
when we
are in disobedience to the next verse:
And you, fathers,
do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the
training and admonition of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4)
That
word for training
translates spanking or chastening. It is the word used in Hebrews
12:5-11 that refers to physical discipline God brings upon us. The
word for admonition
means to give them correct knowledge.
So,
let me stop right there and ask the question: what can we already
draw out about raising children? What do we know from verse 4? What
is the very first thing we are told? Do not provoke them to wrath, do
not stir them up to anger. This is God’s approach to disciplining
my child because, the very next thing he says is spank them! But,
first he says don’t bring them into wrath. Don’t correct them in
such a way that you bring wrath or anger to your children. Provoking
to wrath and anger occurs when we are disrespectful to them while
disciplining. We bring wrath and anger to our children when we are
unjust in our punishment, or inconsistent. Today they can eat the
candy bar, tomorrow they can’t and get a spanking for it. You will
make them angry because fair is not fair: it’s just whatever
opinion mom or dad has today!
Do
not be inconsistent! You need to be consistent. You need to be fair.
You need to be respectful. And then, you need to spank them! That is
what it says there. But not just spank them. What is the last thing
he says to do? Teach them! ‘Correct information’, it says
literally. Correct and proper knowledge.
So,
the first thing Ephesians 6:4 says is: Be fair, respectful, just,
and consistent. If you said it’s wrong today, then it’s wrong
tomorrow! If you said it was right yesterday, then it’s right
today! Do not flip-flop or you will provoke your children to wrath.
It is better to be consistently wrong than to be inconsistent. They
will become bitter and angry. You would never train your dog that
way. One day you whistle and you beat him, then the next day you
whistle and you feed him. Why would you do that to your children?
Chasten
them, spank them, teach them: be honest, fair, consistent, and
respectful. I will not spank my child in the presence of other
children. I will remove them, I will speak to them, I will discipline
them, and then I will allow them to regain their composure before
entering back in with the other kids. The goal is not to humiliate
your child. The goal is to correct your child. Respect them, and then
discipline, and they will love you and not be full of bitterness and
wrath. Be fair. Be consistent. Don’t let it be one spanking for
this issue today, and then 53 spankings the next day. That’s not
consistent. That’s not fair, and they will know it.
Deuteronomy
6:5-9 says:
You
shall love the LORD your God with all
your heart, with all
your soul, and with all
your strength. And
these words which I command you today shall be in your heart.
You shall teach them
diligently
to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house,
when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.
You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as
frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of
your house and on your gates. (Deuteronomy 6:5-9)
What
does it mean to love the Lord with all
your strength? It means to continuously share love with your
children. Continuously. When I get home and I am exhausted, do I just
say, “Kids get away from me, I don’t want to talk to you. Go to
bed.” Or, do I say, “Man, I’m exhausted, but I want to pray
with you. I want to pray over you.”
Last
night I got to bed late. My kids were all asleep. My family was
asleep. I purposefully went and laid hands on each of my children and
prayed over them. I could have fallen asleep standing there! But, I
consistently and diligently have purposed in my heart to love God
with all
my strength.
So,
what we pull out of Deuteronomy 6, especially verse 7, are three
things. First, we are to be diligent. Even if I’m tired! Even if I
am having a bad day! I am still continuing to do what my heart has
said to do. Be diligent. In Ephesians 6:4 we learned “Do not
provoke to wrath.” What does that mean, practically? Be consistent,
fair, just, and respectful in your discipline. The second thing was
spank them. The third thing was teach them appropriate knowledge.
What
did we pull out of Deuteronomy 6:7? Keep on doing it, no matter how
you feel. No matter how long your day is. No matter how bad your
finances are. You continue to do it.
Let’s
look at Proverbs 13:24: another scripture on training children. He
who spares his rod hates his son. Let
me put that into common terms. He who does not spank his child hates
him. That flies in the face of current culture, but I agree with the
Bible regardless of what culture says. If you do not spank your son,
you hate him.
But
listen to this. That’s not the key. The key is the next one: But
he who loves him disciplines him promptly.
Again,
let’s go back to the dog. You don’t beat your dog for killing a
chicken two weeks ago, right? The relationship is missed by the dog.
My dog has killed chickens. I have beaten my dog for killing my
chickens - usually with the chicken. That is the only way I have
gotten my dog to stop killing chickens: when it killed a chicken I
just used that as the rod. It’s quite a picture, but it worked.
He
who loves his son disciplines him promptly.
What is the key we draw out of that verse? Promptly. Now! You say,
“Son don’t talk to me that
way.”
You
are in the store and your son has just talked to you that
way. Do you say, “Oh, you’re going to get it when your dad gets
home!” That is not biblical. Biblical is for you to be diligent.
Do you know what that means? It means you set your groceries down,
lovingly, and you remove yourself to a location where you can
discipline your child. And it costs you a lot because now your whole
schedule is totally messed up because of this stupid little brat!
Right?
That
is the way we feel in our hearts. But, that is not the way God feels.
God says, “Sin! Deal with it now!” Because that stupid little
brat is the most valuable thing you have. You are holding a child and
his life in your hands. I guarantee, if you will apply these
principles your child will not speak to you that
way - if he knows no matter where he does it there will be
consequences soon following. Be prompt.
Chasten
your son while there is hope, And do not set your heart on his
destruction.
(Proverbs 19:18)
Apathy
and procrastination and parenting do not mix. If you say, “You do
‘this’ and ‘this’ will happen”, then when ‘this’
happens, the next thing should happen. If you procrastinate, you will
forget to discipline your child. I almost guarantee that they will
not remind you. You deal with it then, and then let it be over with
so that they can go on with the rest of their day.
Aren’t
we glad that God doesn’t say, “I’m going to get you some day
soon for your sin!” Aren’t we glad that God just deals with it –
and we’re free! Free your child. Love him. Don’t set your heart
on his destruction. Be prompt.
So,
what have we learned so far just from the biblical description of
parenting?
Don’t
provoke to wrath, which means to be fair, just, respectful,
consistent.
Spank!
Promptly!
Teach
them. Teach them the accurate understanding of the Lord.
What
did we learn in Deuteronomy 6:7?
There
are no bad days for mom and dad. There are no excuses of exhaustion
for mom and dad. This is a child who will either go to heaven or
hell. A child who will either worship God or hate Him. A child who
God decided you
will raise. Treasure that child.
I
have a little acronym that will help you in applying these principals
before we start making our way through 1 Samuel 2. It is the acronym
S.T.A.R.T.
S
is Spank.
T
is Teach.
A
is At this time. Now. Promptly.
R
is Respectfully.
T
is ‘Till the end. Don’t stop. Be diligent all the way to the end.
Spank
them. Teach
them. At
this time, Respectfully.
‘Till
the end.
S.T.A.R.T
with your children today!
I
gave you that background because we’re going to take a good look at
bad parenting right now. With that in mind, I want to look at how Eli
treats his sons in 1 Samuel 2.
Then Elkanah went
to his house at Ramah. But the child ministered to the LORD before
Eli the priest. Now the sons of Eli were corrupt; they did not know
the LORD. (1 Samuel 2:11-12)
How
is it possible that they did not know the Lord? Did Eli know the
Lord? How is it that his children did not know the Lord? Were they in
the house of God? Did they know the rituals? Did they know about
the Lord? Yet, they did not know the Lord.
Did
you know that your relationship with God is not genetic? Don’t
expect it to rub off genetically to your children. Your relationship
with the Lord was a personal choice and theirs will be also. You are
to train your child in the way he should go. Can you force a child in
the way he should go? No! But, when you let go, he should be aimed in
the right direction. Whether or not he continues in it is his own
personal choice. But knowing about
God is not enough. Knowing God is where you are aiming. Each person
needs to develop his or her own passionate and personal love for the
Lord Jesus. Don’t think you have the perfect plan laid out. As long
as they get up, say their prayers, do their devotions, go to church,
and are involved in Sunday School, your children are saved. They,
instead, must
know the Lord. It will mean being diligent.
And the priests'
custom with the people was that when any man offered a sacrifice, the
priest's servant would come with a three-pronged fleshhook in his
hand while the meat was boiling.
(1 Samuel 2:13)
So
they would sacrifice this animal and then burn some to the Lord. They
would boil the rest of the meat and at the end of it, according to
Levitical law, the priest was to get the breast and the right thigh.
Very specific! Not these priests. While it was boiling, they would
stick in the flesh hook. Do you think they just randomly stuck in the
flesh hook? Or, do you think they were trying to upgrade perhaps?
Then he would
thrust it into the pan, or kettle, or caldron, or pot; and the priest
would take for himself all that the fleshhook brought up. So they did
in Shiloh to all the Israelites who came there. (1 Samuel 2:14)
Number
one, these young men were not following Levitical law. They didn’t
know the Lord, and they weren’t even following His law.
Also, before they
burned the fat, the priest's servant would come and say to the man
who sacrificed, "Give meat for roasting to the priest, for he
will not take boiled meat from you, but raw." (1 Samuel 2:15)
All
of the fat was to be offered to God. It was the best part of the
animal. When a person gave to God, the best of it went to Him. The
richness went to God. The priests were not to have meat with the fat;
they were supposed to get the breast and the right thigh. It was very
specific. Why would they want uncooked meat? They could sell it!
And if the man
said to him, "They should really burn the fat first; then you
may take as much as your heart desires," he would then answer
him, "No, but you must give it now; and if not, I will take it
by force." (1 Samuel 2:16)
Aaron
and his sons were anointed by God: chosen from the Levites to be the
priests. They were to maintain and operate the Tabernacle and
eventually the Temple. That meant doing some mundane duties; they
hauled ash out of the altar, they moved the furniture, the altar, and
stuff around. They had the daily task of repairing tents that had
holes in them. People would go to this tabernacle and this temple to
meet God. But because of the proximity to God, they were told to be
holy, set apart, different from the rest of the nation. They were not
allowed to have strong drink. They were not allowed to go to a
funeral except for their immediate family. They were not allowed to
marry a woman who was not a virgin. They were called to be the ones
who blew the silver trumpets and gathered all of Israel together.
They were told to teach the law and judge the people. God placed them
in a very serious position because they represented God’s will
before the people.
They
were not given an inheritance. God said, “You’re not going to
receive any land when you enter the Promised Land. Instead, I’ll be
your inheritance. You’ll get a tithe from the offerings. When
people give an offering to me you will get that tithe and will live
off of it. You’ll have bread. I’ll take care of your bread.”
There are the twelve loaves that are set before the presence of God
one week at a time. When they would become stale, if you will, then
the priests were to replace them with new bread. All that old bread
was for the priests to eat.
When
a sacrifice was offered, what was the priest supposed to get? The
breast and the right thigh-after the fat was burned off. This was not
what Eli’s sons were doing.
Do
you think that this affected people? Look at verse 17.
Therefore the sin
of the young men was very great before the LORD, for men abhorred the
offering of the LORD. (1 Samuel 2:17)
“I
don’t want to go to church; all they want is my money!” Has
anybody ever heard that? Do you know that a minister’s sin,
especially a pastor’s sin or a teacher’s sin, affects hundreds
and hundreds of people? Maybe thousands. Can you guess what is one of
the most pervasive sins in the ministry? Greed. That is why Peter, in
the New Testament, says this:
Shepherd the
flock of God which is among you, serving as overseers, not by
compulsion but willingly, not for dishonest gain but eagerly; (1
Peter 5:2)
The
sin of greed pours out too often upon those who are trying to worship
God.
I
recently went to a meeting and they spent twenty minutes trying to
make people comfortable with the offering, trying to find a whole new
way to tell you that you have to give money. They kept apologizing
throughout it. “Well, if you are not a believer and you are new
here, or whatever, don’t feel obligated. We’re talking to those
who are believers.” They kept saying that again and again. Why
would they have to keep apologizing unless it was a stumbling block
that people were falling over? They felt it in their hearts.
There
are certain things, which are deadly serious to God. Let’s look at
one of them in John chapter 2 starting in verse 13.
Now
the Passover of the Jews was at hand, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem.
(The city was packed
with millions of pilgrims.) And
He found in the temple those who sold oxen and sheep and doves, and
the moneychangers doing business. (John 2:13-14)
If
you brought an ox, the priest had to inspect that ox. If the ox was
not good enough, he’d say, “Sorry, you can’t sacrifice that
one.”
You
say, “Well, I live forty miles back that way and I’m not hauling
my ox back there. I couldn’t make it back in time for the
Passover.”
So,
they would offer to buy your ox for half price in order that you
wouldn’t have to haul it. Then they’d tell you that they had some
pre-inspected oxen for just a little more than what you are selling
yours for, and they sell you a pre-inspected ox. Who made the money
off of that? Did that go in to the Temple treasury? No! Historically,
it actually went into the high priest’s pocket. They did the same
thing with doves.
In
addition to this sin, they created a money exchange office at the
Temple. They decided that there will only be one coin used, one holy
coin in the Temple; therefore, when people would bring ‘unholy’
money in, they would need to exchange it at a rate of 85%,
exchanging for coins that were appropriate for the Lord. So now they
have pocketed the money before it ever even got to the treasury.
They’ve done an exchange fee. I wonder how Jesus felt about this?
When He had made
a whip of cords…(John 2:15)
Does
it take time to make a whip of cords? I want you to picture this now.
Jesus walks in and looks in the Temple and there they are doing
business during the biggest season, if you will. There are millions
of pilgrims. Jesus walks over and gets some cords, strands of
leather, maybe some rope, twine, and He’s sitting in the corner
braiding the pieces. He’s making this by hand. Who is making this?
Jesus! The most loving of all men! He is braiding together a whip.
When
He had made a whip of cords He drove them all out of the temple, with
the sheep and the oxen, and poured out the changers' money and
overturned the tables. And
He said to those who sold doves, "Take these things away! Do not
make My Father's house a house of merchandise!" Then His
disciples remembered that it was written, "Zeal for Your house
has eaten Me up."
(John 2:15-17)
How
do you think God feels about business and greed in the church? How
did Jesus feel? The One who died on the cross with nails in His hands
and a spear through His side and cried out, “Forgive them Father,
they don’t know what they are doing.” This is the same Guy who
sat there and purposely braided a whip because of what people were
doing inside the house of God. He’s deadly serious about some sins!
This is one of them.
"But woe to
you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you shut up the kingdom
of heaven against men; for you neither go in yourselves, nor do you
allow those who are entering to go in. (Matthew 23:13)
People
are trying to worship God and here are Eli’s sons, Hophni and
Phinehas ripping them off. Give me your cow now or I’ll beat you
up! Give it to me now or I’ll force it from you! The people can’t
even worship God!
I
don’t think there is anything more blasphemous than an ungodly
minister. They have the greatest opportunity to damage people. When
the teacher of God is hypocritical, new believer thinks, “Oh,
that’s how God feels.”
Do
you remember why Moses didn’t enter the Promised Land? Because he
misrepresented God to the people. He was angry, and God wasn’t. He
misrepresented God to the people.
My brethren, let
not many of you become teachers, knowing that we shall receive a
stricter judgment. (James 3:1)
I
will receive a stricter judgement than those who are not teachers
because of this responsibility.
But Samuel
ministered before the LORD, even as a child, wearing a linen ephod.
(1 Samuel 2:18)
Hophni
and Phinehas are knocking people down and stealing their cows; and
here’s little Samuel ministering before the Lord, even as a child,
wearing a linen ephod. Now, the ephod was sort of like an apron, if
you will, a priestly garment.
Moreover his
mother used to make him a little robe, and bring it to him year by
year when she came up with her husband to offer the yearly sacrifice.
And Eli would bless Elkanah and his wife, and say, "The LORD
give you descendants from this woman for the loan that was given to
the LORD." Then they would go to their own home. And the LORD
visited Hannah, so that she conceived and bore three sons and two
daughters. Meanwhile the child Samuel grew before the LORD. (1 Samuel
2:19-21)
Can
you feel the love in those words? Who wrote this book? Who most
likely wrote verse 18 through verse 21? Samuel! “Every year mom
would come and every year she would bring me a little robe to wear.”
That
just blessed my heart like you wouldn’t believe. She had given her
son to the Lord, but she never stopped praying for him and never
stopped thinking about him, because the garment she made would have
been a priestly garment. A little miniature priestly garment. And she
would have sewn all the little tassels on by hand, and she would have
made the robe herself. I don’t know if I’m reading this into the
text, but I just felt like the Lord was revealing to my heart the
kind of things she must have spoken to her son when she gave him that
robe. “Son, I’ve been working on this. Do you know what the blue
stands for? It stands for heaven. Do you know what the pomegranate
stands for? It stands for fruitfulness before the Lord. Do you know
why it’s white? Because you are holy to God.” She didn’t have a
whole lot of time with her son, but what she had she used.
Was
she respectful? Yes, I believe she was respectful. I underlined the
words little robe.
She was respectful because she brought him what he needed. She could
have said, “Here, take some money and go get yourself a robe, I
don’t have time for you.” She was respectful.
Was
she diligent? She made this thing with her own hands! She was
diligent.
Was
she consistent? Every year. He knew mom was coming and that she’d
bring him a robe. “This one has a hole in it, but I won’t worry
about it because mom is coming and she’ll bring me a robe in a
month.” He could count on her.
She
clearly shares some of the characteristics that we have just learned
about the Biblical raising of children. She was consistent, she was
diligent, and she was respectful.
Just
the fact that God even recorded verses 18-21: Really, it’s sort of
a non-event, isn’t it? “Yep, mom brought me some clothes.”
That’s pretty much it. Why did it end up in the Scriptures? What
does it tell us?
I
think it ended up in the Scriptures because Samuel wanted us to know
that it had an impact on him. It affected him. Just consistent,
diligent. “Mom was a rock. I never used to see much of her, but
when she was there I knew who she was and she was consistent. She set
a good example.”
Now Eli was very
old; and he heard everything his sons did to all Israel, and how they
lay with the women who assembled at the door of the tabernacle of
meeting. (1 Samuel 2:22)
According
to Exodus, these were the women who came to minister to the Lord.
According to Leviticus, the door of the tabernacle was where God
would meet the priest. Well the priest wasn’t meeting God: he was
meeting a woman. That is a scary thought! What a radical contrast to
what we just read! God put it there purposely as a contrast to
Samuel.
Here
we have Hannah sewing, literally, and getting a blessing. She has six
kids.
Here,
we have Eli’s sons sowing, and they’ll get something. Galatians 6
says don’t be deceived, God is not mocked. Whatever you sow, you
are going to reap. If you sow to the spirit, you are going to reap
eternal life. If you sow to the flesh, you’re going to reap
corruption.
They were sowing –
they were completely disregarding what God had said. Did Eli know it?
Did you know that Phinehas was married? This is recorded in chapter
4. What is the penalty for adultery, according to Levitical law? Who
knew the Levitical law? Who taught the Levitical law? Who was
responsible for the priesthood? Who is the boss of all the priests?
Eli! Who is the father of the scoundrels? Eli! Who bears the
responsibility?
Therefore, since
we are receiving a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us have grace,
by which we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear.
(Hebrews 12:28)
Hebrews
12 says, man, we better hold on to grace! It’s a picture, if you
will, of a man grabbing hold of a rock in the middle of a storm. The
moment you let go of that grace you become arrogant. Oh woe is you.
Let us have grace, by
which we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear.
The moment you start making jokes about God and demons, according to
Jude, and start mocking the spiritual things, you have let go of
grace and have forgotten the next verse:
For
our God is a consuming fire. (Hebrews
12:29) He
is God! They didn’t know Him. They had the garments, they had the
church, they were even the priests, but they didn’t know Him. I
wonder what Eli should have done. Let’s look.
So
he said to them, (Eli
to his sons) "Why
do you do such things? For I hear of your evil dealings from all the
people. (1 Samuel 2:23)
Why
are you doing this? That’s a foolish question to ask a child. “Why
did you punch your brother?” “Well, because there was sin deep in
my heart, daddy, and I….” They are not going to give you a good
answer. “Well, he stepped on my Tonka truck!”
“Why
are you laying with women in the Temple?” For
I hear of your evil dealings from all the people.
That
means people are talking and coming to the priest. Why do you think
they would come to the priest? They
wanted him to do something!
"No,
my sons! For it is not a good report that I hear. Shame,
shame, shame on you!
You make the LORD'S people transgress.
Shame, shame, shame, shame, shame! "If
one man sins against another, God will judge him. But if a man sins
against the LORD, who will intercede for him?" (1 Samuel
2:24-25)
Who
is in charge? What should Eli have done? He is the father and the
head honcho priest. What should his response have been?
If
an elder is in sin, do you know what the Bible says? Rebuke
in the presence of all, that the rest also may fear. (1
Timothy 5:20) If you are in leadership you bear much accountability.
These boys should have been brought before the people and Eli should
have pronounced judgement on their sin.
If
an elder commits adultery with someone in the church, I’m not going
to say shame, shame, shame on you. I’m going to stand before the
church and say this man committed adultery in this church and is
stepping out of leadership. When he repents he will be received back
into the body. He may never again be an elder: we don’t know. It
all depends on his character, whether he has changed in his heart or
not. But, we are commanded to deal with it!
Instead,
all we get from Eli is this feeble whining. “Oh, it’s terrible,
people are talking. It’s terrible! What’s wrong with you?” And
then he just heaps on guilt. He never applied the S
in S.T.A.R.T. What was the S?
Spank! He never took any action to correct what they were doing.
Now,
we probably also do this and we can see it everywhere in our culture.
Instead, of taking action, what do parents do? Yell, demean, lecture,
discuss, reason, humiliate, pour on the guilt. “Well, you make
daddy feel terrible. Do you realize how you made her feel?” And we
heap on guilt. We pour it on. Here’s the pattern for discipline in
today’s culture: Ignore, ignore, delay, delay, guilt, scream, yell,
lecture. Right? Is it working? It’s not working!
Was
he consistent? He wasn’t! Why not? Which sin is he talking to them
about? Their immorality. Isn’t that a strange thing? He didn’t
talk to them one bit about them stealing the meat and, I hate to say
it, but in reading this we are going to find out why. Don’t take
this wrong, but Eli was very, very fat. How do you get very very fat?
By fasting? In fact, God is going to tell him, “You’ve been
eating their meat, Eli.” Eli compromised. He wasn’t consistent.
“Well, it’s sin. But, you know, it’s not bad sin, it’s just a
little sin.”
Correct
all
sin! Not little sin and big sin. There is no little sin and big sin.
Immorality and greed are equally deadly. Homosexuality and murder are
equally deadly. Lying, drunkenness; equal. They kill you all the
same!
He
was inconsistent. “Oh, I can’t believe you’re doing this with
the women, this is terrible!” He doesn’t say a word about the
meat. He is inconsistent.
Do
you know what it says in Luke 16:10?
He who is
faithful in what is least is faithful also in much; and he who is
unjust in what is least is unjust also in much.
Be
faithful in the little things; then you’ll be faithful in much. Do
you want to know how you win your child in correction? Deal with the
small problem. When they are one year old and in their heart you see
this rage of rebellion toward you, instead of saying, “Oh, he’s
cute, he’ll probably grow out of that,” discipline! Because, as
someone told me once, the most deadly of all animals in the whole
world is a one-year-old child: he just has no power. Isn’t that
true? If a little kid who is one year old had a gun, we’d all be in
trouble if they knew how to use it. Me, me, me, mine, mine, mine,
want, want, want!
So
when do you start correcting? When things are big? Would you rather
spank a 250 pound man or a 25 pound kid? Isn’t it better to deal
with it before they turn 250 pounds? Be faithful in little things and
you will be faithful in much.
Because
the father took no action, but instead just used words, it was
useless. When you take no action and just start saying words to your
children, your words will become useless. Look what it says:
Nevertheless they
did not heed the voice of their father, because the LORD desired to
kill them.
(1 Samuel 2:25)
God
has said they have transgressed and they will die and you have not
corrected them – and should have – and so your words are useless
to them. Useless.
And the child
Samuel grew in stature, and in favor both with the LORD and men. (1
Samuel 2:26)
He
just kind of throws that in there. By the way, Samuel is doing good.
Then
a man of God came to Eli and said to him, "Thus says the LORD:
'Did I not clearly reveal Myself to the house of your father when
they were in Egypt in Pharaoh's house? 'Did I not choose him out of
all the tribes of Israel to be My priest, to offer upon My altar, to
burn incense, and to wear an ephod before Me? And did I not give to
the house of your father all the offerings of the children of Israel
made by fire? 'Why
do you kick at My sacrifice and My offering which I have commanded in
My dwelling place, and honor your sons more than Me, to make
yourselves fat with the best of all the offerings of Israel My
people?' (1 Samuel 2:27-29)
What
is the very first thing God corrects? The big sin? What Eli
considered the little sin? He corrects the little sin, in Eli’s
eyes. He rebukes him, basically, for dishonoring God to spare his
children’s feelings. Eli is afraid to confront and deal with their
sin – Spanking,
Teaching,
At
this time, Respectfully,
and ‘Till
the end, consistently, diligently. He is afraid to do that because he
is afraid his sons won’t love him.
I
don’t enjoy spanking my children. I don’t know anyone who does.
And, if you do, you probably need counseling! I don’t mean that as
a joke; you probably do need counseling if you enjoy spanking your
child. But, we do it because we fear God more than we fear losing our
children’s love. Because, God has said, “I know your child and I
know what will save your child. Obey Me.”
Your
child will say, “No, God is wrong. God does not want you to spank
me.” That is our nature. But God says we need to spank them.
Eli
is more interested in his son’s approval than God’s approval, and
what is the result? What is the result when we choose to put God’s
word aside to save the feelings of our children? We lose our
children.
Therefore
the LORD God of Israel says: 'I said indeed that your house and the
house of your father would walk before Me forever.' But now the LORD
says: 'Far be it from Me; for those who honor Me I will honor, and
those who despise Me shall be lightly esteemed. 'Behold, the days are
coming that I will cut off your arm and the arm of your father's
house, so
that there will not be an old man in your house. And you will see an
enemy in My dwelling place, despite all the good which God does for
Israel. And there shall not be an old man in your house forever.
(1 Samuel
2:30-32)
How
serious was this sin? Could Eli have dealt with it? Of course! But,
he didn’t.
Can
you deal with the sins of your child? I don’t care what they are,
the answer is yes. If you don’t, God will deal with it.
'But any of your
men whom I do not cut off from My altar shall consume your eyes and
grieve your heart. And all the descendants of your house shall die in
the flower of their age. (1 Samuel 2:33)
Now,
this is all going to happen during the time of King Solomon, Solomon
will remove Eli’s priestly line and set up another. So, it may be a
few generations off but it will happen and God is going to give them
a sign.
Now this shall be
a sign to you that will come upon your two sons, on Hophni and
Phinehas: in one day they shall die, both of them. (1 Samuel 2:34)
How
serious is raising children? Who gave you the children? Who expects
you to teach and train the children? Who will you give account to for
your children? Are you going to stand in heaven and give account to
the children about how you raised them or to God?
Then I will raise
up for Myself a faithful priest who shall do according to what is in
My heart and in My mind. I will build him a sure house, and he shall
walk before My anointed forever.
(1 Samuel 2:35)
This
is partly fulfilled in Samuel, who is going to be a godly priest, and
it is partly fulfilled in Zaddock during 1 Kings chapter 2, where he
becomes the new priestly line. But, it is ultimately fulfilled in the
High Priest. Jesus, who has the heart of God, who has the mind of
God. It is a Messianic prophecy.
And it shall come
to pass that everyone who is left in your house will come and bow
down to him for a piece of silver and a morsel of bread, and say,
"Please, put me in one of the priestly positions, that I may eat
a piece of bread." (1 Samuel 2:36)
There
is God’s judgement on greed. Impoverishment. The people who were
stealing are now begging.
So,
here are a few things in conclusion:
Eli
did not do the ‘S’,
ever. He did not spank. He did not chasten. Now, it is very
difficult to spank a 35 or 40-year-old man when you are 90. But, he
did have disciplinary measures he could’ve taken. He could have
removed them from the priesthood. If it became bad enough, he could
have brought them before the people and stoned them to death. That
was an option because they were committing adultery and other
heinous crimes. Instead, he stood like many parents today, wringing
his hands while his children refused to obey them. “Oh, he just
never does what I say!” It’s because you never do what you’re
supposed to do! Spank!
Don’t
withhold correction from a child, for if you beat him with a rod, he
will not die! You
shall beat him with a rod, and deliver his soul from hell.
(Proverbs
23:13-14)
Eli
did not do the ‘T’.
He did not teach. Did his children know the Lord? He obviously
didn’t teach them. He had a busy schedule, you know: he’s the
high priest. He couldn’t spend time. “Listen, I’m tired! Kids,
just memorize that Scripture. I’m tired; I don’t have time to
help you know the Lord right now. I’m too busy.” Man, that’s
us! Come on, confess it; that is us! I’ll confess it’s me. I’m
just busy! And God says, “Spend time with them. Let them know who
I am. Stop being so busy while your children are going to hell.”
Spend time with them. Eli didn’t teach them.
He
wasn’t consistent. “Well, you know, that sin is not so bad, but
that one is terrible. Don’t do that one. It’s okay that you
speak to your mom in that arrogant tone or that angry way, but man,
don’t ever let me hear you say that dirty word.” They are both
wrong, but the first one is just as wrong. Be consistent! “It’s
not okay to steal meat, but don’t commit adultery.”
He
was not prompt – ‘A’.
At this moment, at this time. He was not prompt. He waited and
waited, procrastinated and procrastinated. “Okay, finally too many
people have talked to me. I can’t take it anymore. I’ve got to
deal with the kids. They are ruining my reputation!” Ultimately,
the bottom line is, he didn’t want to pay the personal price, the
personal sacrifice. If you are going to train your children, it will
cost you something. It will cost you time. It will cost you setting
down your groceries and leaving them behind. It will cost you
setting aside your schedule, because your kid is sinning, and you
need to deal with it. Consistency. It will cost you something
personally. To tell your kids, “I don’t want you to do this…”
and then when you see them do it publicly, know you have to do
something. You have to do something while maintaining their honor
and respect. You don’t want to humiliate them in front of
everyone, but you’ve got to do something and now!
So,
you start praying. “God, how do I discipline this child in this
situation because grandma and grandpa and uncle and auntie, are all
right here and it’s in the middle of the movie theatre.” Wherever
it might be. Let me share reality with you; Your kids are going to
act out where they think they are going to get away with it. Show
them that this imaginary “get away with it free” place does not
exist on earth. We must begin praying, “How do I do discipline
them promptly yet still respect them.”
Spank
them. Teach
them. At
this time, Respectfully.
‘Till
the end.
Ultimately,
many of us don’t want to pay the personal price. We don’t want to
pay the time, we don’t want to pay the embarrassment, and we don’t
want to pay the energy. But, really, we need to ask the Lord, “Whose
kids are these?”
May
God help us to raise our children; or should I say, help us to raise
His children.
Help us to remember to S.T.A.R.T.
If
you have any questions about God, the Bible, or if you want prayer,
call 541-430-SAVE.
If
you would like to purchase copies of this booklet please contact:
Camas
Valley Christian Fellowship
P.O.
Box 41
Camas
Valley, OR 97416
541-430-7283
